Back Up Plans

Can I be completely honest with you? Sometimes, I tend to have completely unrealistic expectations of life.

For example, I sent my sponsorship letters for Uganda on Thursday, and a got some calls and texts from people who had received my letters on Friday. Logically, doing the time in my head, I figured that if people got my letters on Friday, and were just as excited about Africa as I am, they would have immediately written a check and mailed it back, meaning that today, my mail box should have been flooded with letters.

I had my thank you notes ready, and I even put a letter in the mailbox and put the flag up so I would know when the mailman had come.

So today, when I got home from school, and the fateful mailman had indeed come, I raced outside, opened my mailbox waiting for so many letters that they would, indeed, spill out, only to discover.....

Some ads.

I know it was ridiculous to think that letters would actually come. But like I said, I have ridiculous expectations from life.

So then, obviously I had a little freak out session. What if no one wants to sponsor my trip? What if people don't think a trip to Africa is a good idea and therefore don't want to support it? What if no money is coming? How am I going to pay for this trip all on my own?

I then do what I always do next. I created a back up plan. I do this constantly. If I don't meet the man I'm going to marry? I'm adopting a kid at 30. If I don't think I can pass a class I'm in? I start looking at other career path options in case I really do end up failing. Everything in my life has a back up path.

It's annoying. It's one of the reason I'm going to Africa. I depend too much on my back up plans and not enough on God, and its pretty hard to set up back up plans in a place like Uganda.

Anyways, I immediately rushed inside and looked up the credit line on my credit card and discovered that if I can save up just $500 from working, then I can charge the rest to my credit card, just in case no money comes in.

What a relief!

Until I was reminded of a passage that I read in Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. The quote that's really been sticking with me says "We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn’t come through." Chan talks about how truth faith is putting ourselves in situations that can only be successful with God.

Why do I always think that God is going to fail me? Why do I always believe that God, who loves me more than everyone else in the world combined, would not have my best interest at heart? Would not be looking out for me and His plan for me?

No more stressing out for me. It's all yours now God.

Giving Up Back Up Plans,
Jenna