Creator

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately? God as Creator. Not as the Creator of the universe, but as the Creator of me.

Not that creating the universe isn't incredible, but right now, we are focusing on me.

I love the idea of God knitting me together in my mother's womb and knowing the hairs on my head and knowing the life path He has planned for me.

I love that God laughs at me when I freak out about said life plan not going how I intended because His plan is much better.

I also love that He already knows when I am going to screw up said life plan and loves me in spite of my stupidity.

The thing I have been thinking about the most lately? Finding my identity in my Creator.

One thing no one knows about me? I used to paint. I'm terrible at painting. Really awfully bad. My sister got all the artistic genes in my family. Her art is incredible. She's extremely talented. You should ask her to show it to you sometime. I'm really extremely proud of her in case you can't tell.

Anyways, I would never show anyone my art, because I'm embarrassed of it, but I did really used to enjoy creating it.

I painted for the first time since before I had my first serious boyfriend over Easter break. It was so much fun!

In case you're wondering, my talents have not improved in my time off.

Regardless, I think that God has a reason behind reminding me about Him as Creator so much lately and its this:

When we start putting our main focus on things besides our Creator, we start to lose the identity He created for us in the first place.

When I date boys, I tend to focus on them for my identity instead of God. I'm so concerned with making sure their happy with me that I lose who I am trying to be that picture of perfection for them.

I can't tell you how many things I've pretended to like or enjoy to make my past boyfriends happy! How pathetic.

It's been nice getting to know me again.

And I've learned my lesson. Lucky for the next boy, he'll get to know the real me instead of the me I'm trying to be to make him happy.

Now than I'm writing it down, the idea of changing myself in that way doesn't even seem logical.

I'm so silly sometimes.

Enjoying the Road of Self Discovery,
Jenna