Babies

Confession: I love babies. And children.

I like everything about them. The way they look, the way they act, the way they are hilarious and cute without even trying.

I picked my career field because I couldn't imagine going to work everyday at a job that didn't involve kids.

I don't know if children's ministry can be considered a spiritual gift, but in my world, it can be, and it is mine. I love kids and kids love me, even the shy kids that don't like anyone but their mom. Children's ministry is definitely my calling. Its what I want to do when I grow up.

(On a side note, I wonder when I will stop staying "when I grow up". At 22 maybe? I'm not sure)

Another confession: if you have kids, I will probably like you, or at least pretend too. This is for two reasons:

1. You won't think I'm a weirdo for trying to play with your kids
2. You might ask me to be your babysitter, at which point, I'll make money doing something I would have done for free anyways.

The good news for my friends Nic and Jo? I already considered them to be great friends of mine before they had a kid, so they know I'm not pretending to like them to get to their new son Hayden:

Hayden was born Tuesday very very early in the morning and I'm already in love with him.

I've been named Hayden's godmother. I think this is mostly a title given to me so others won't think Nic and Jo are weird for letting me be around their son so often.

Out of curiosity, I look up godmother on the internet today. The first definition I found was a cocktail made with Italian Amaretto liqueur and vodka. However, I think this one is a bit more what I was looking for:

"Traditionally, godparents were counted informally responsible for ensuring that the child's religious education was carried out and for caring for the child should he/she be orphaned. Today the word "godparent" may not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development."

I like the part about religious education being carried out. If children's ministry is my calling, and Hayden is a child that I care about, then it only makes sense for this to be a priority of mine.

I want Hayden to grow up to be a Godly man, husband, and father. I want Hayden to grow up knowing the Jesus that I know and love. I want Hayden to grow up and follow the God that has blessed me with the friendship I have with his parents.

You know when your in youth group and you have to name someone besides your parents who had a significant influence on you and your walk with God?

I would like to be on Hayden's list, because Nic and Jo are on mine.

Trying to set a Godly example,
Jenna

Creator

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately? God as Creator. Not as the Creator of the universe, but as the Creator of me.

Not that creating the universe isn't incredible, but right now, we are focusing on me.

I love the idea of God knitting me together in my mother's womb and knowing the hairs on my head and knowing the life path He has planned for me.

I love that God laughs at me when I freak out about said life plan not going how I intended because His plan is much better.

I also love that He already knows when I am going to screw up said life plan and loves me in spite of my stupidity.

The thing I have been thinking about the most lately? Finding my identity in my Creator.

One thing no one knows about me? I used to paint. I'm terrible at painting. Really awfully bad. My sister got all the artistic genes in my family. Her art is incredible. She's extremely talented. You should ask her to show it to you sometime. I'm really extremely proud of her in case you can't tell.

Anyways, I would never show anyone my art, because I'm embarrassed of it, but I did really used to enjoy creating it.

I painted for the first time since before I had my first serious boyfriend over Easter break. It was so much fun!

In case you're wondering, my talents have not improved in my time off.

Regardless, I think that God has a reason behind reminding me about Him as Creator so much lately and its this:

When we start putting our main focus on things besides our Creator, we start to lose the identity He created for us in the first place.

When I date boys, I tend to focus on them for my identity instead of God. I'm so concerned with making sure their happy with me that I lose who I am trying to be that picture of perfection for them.

I can't tell you how many things I've pretended to like or enjoy to make my past boyfriends happy! How pathetic.

It's been nice getting to know me again.

And I've learned my lesson. Lucky for the next boy, he'll get to know the real me instead of the me I'm trying to be to make him happy.

Now than I'm writing it down, the idea of changing myself in that way doesn't even seem logical.

I'm so silly sometimes.

Enjoying the Road of Self Discovery,
Jenna

Something I Found

I found this today online and I wanted to share it with you:

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be but then you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And, sometimes things happen to you at times that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.
Illnesses, injury, love; lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere-sage and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart and eyes to little things.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid flight.
You learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

For those of you looking for something a little less serious, I discovered today that for the entire 21 years of my life I have been spelling the word "trys" instead of "tries" and no one ever corrected me. I wonder how many people have looked at my writings when spell check didn't correct me and laughed at the girl who sometimes takes herself and her intelligence a little too seriously. Its funny how God teaches us humility in the smallest circumstances.

21 years of "trys". How embarrassing.

Thoughts from a girl who trys/tries to keep you entertained,
Jenna

Random

1. I'm on a Mark Driscoll kick lately. I listen to podcasts everyday on the way to school and sometimes on the way back. Even though its old and I'm way behind on the times, I've been listening to his Peasant Princess series from November. I really really like it. Sometimes Driscoll can be a little extreme, but for the most part, I like what he has to say, and he makes me laugh, which is important to me.
   
2. I hope one day my husband writes stuff like this (click the this Foster, I know you had trouble with that in my last post) about my children.
3. The fact that I cried so easily about a post like this helps to affirm my suspicions that God is going to call me to adopt at least one of my children.
4. I still really want one of these. Feel free to get me one if it so moves you.
5. Some big changes are coming in my life. Another post about that is coming soon.
   
6. I'm super excited David is home for the week and that I got to spend time with him this weekend.
7. I forgot how much I miss a lot of the people that I love who live in Georgetown. If I'm allowed at the Levy's and Ward's at least once or twice a week, perhaps I can survive a year with my parents at the age of 22.
8. In exactly 29 days, I will turn in my last final and I will never step foot inside another classroom. Crazy
9. In exactly 48 days, I'll be on my way to Kampala, Uganda. Even crazier.
10. In approximately 7 days, give or take a few days based on when he decides to come, my friend's Nic and Jo will welcome their son Hayden into the world. To say I'm excited would be an understatement. I can't wait to hold that little guy!

Giving you a little look into my world at the moment,
Jenna

Published Works

One thing you probably didn't know about me?

I'm a published writer.

For humility reasons, its not something I like to bring up often, but now that we are talking about it, I've actually been published twice.

The first time, I was in the 2nd grade I think. Everyone in my class had to write and illustrate their own story, then you mailed in your creation along with $20 and they sent back your very own published book.

At the time, I apparently lacked the creativity I now have, because my book was strangely similar to my favorite book at the time, The Rainbow Fish.

So similar, in fact, that I could have been sued for copyright infringement had I not been 7.

The second time came in the 5th grade. We were doing a poetry unit and everyone had to write a bunch of different types of poems. Then, we picked our favorite and our teacher sent them into a company. After that, the company picked the 5 best poems from our class, combined them with poems from other classes across the country and published them in a book of poetry. Then, the company conned everyone's parents and grandparents into buying the book of poems for $20.

I still remember the poem I wrote, it went like this:

Long, rectangular, sort of square
Their nasty smell fills the air
I don't like Fritos but maybe you do
I think I'll try one..Ewww

Poetic genius, I know.

Surprisingly enough, some of the kids wrote really good poems about their grandparents dying, God's love, stuff like that. A decade later, I'm still trying to figure out how my 4 line poem on Fritos made the cut.

Anyways, I write all this to say that the publishers have been knocking. They're ready for more. And after a 10 year hiatus, I'm ready to break out my pen and paper.

I really want to write a book. Whether or not anyone ever reads it is not important, but I want to put my thoughts to paper, separate them by chapter and call it a book.

Not that my thoughts are all that important or profound, but as demonstrated by my attempt to be creative in writing my own version of The Rainbow Fish, I don't think I'd be creative enough to pen a fiction novel.

I'd like to think my style would be similar to Donald Miller. Simply talking through writing with a little wit mixed in.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what to write about.

Good news or bad news depending on how you've treated me in the past? I write everything in a journal. Perhaps I will look there for inspiration. I also bought my own version of the Moleskine today to start keeping my thoughts. I think Uganda will present a good writing stage.

Perhaps by December my unnamed creation will be ready for your reading pleasure.

Working on something else my grandma can be the only person to buy,
Jenna

P.S. Does anyone want to buy me one of these for my trip? This way, I can have tons of books with me in Uganda without having to carry around a ton of books in my backpack. If you do, I'll give you a big thank you, a blog dedication, an awesome souvenir from Uganda, and I'll even mention you in my book.

I really really really want one. I'm just throwing that out there. Do with it what you wish.

Apologies

Today we had a guest lecturer, and being the type of student that I am, I checked out the Google analytics for my blog instead of listening.

A few discoveries:

1. I have had a few visitors from other countries including France, India, and our neighbors to the north.

2. I have had visitors from about 25 of the states. My new goal is to get a visitor from each state.

3. I have a lot more readers than I realized.

The major reason for this post though? I discovered that most of my visits come from referring sites (mostly Jonathon and Nic) but the ones that don't come from search engines.

What are most people searching for when they stumble upon my blog?

How to save their dog when they eat chocolate.

This is because of this post from November here.

I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize if you were looking for a way to help your dog after they ate chocolate. I would hate to think that I wasted your time on my blog while looking for a solution.

What I can tell you is that the vet I called recommended a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide for large dogs and 1/2 a teaspoon for smaller dogs. If they don't throw up within 5 minutes or so, you can give them a little more.

I just needed to do that to clear my conscience.

Saving chocolate loving dogs everywhere,
Jenna