Reflections

Some reflections from today:

1. Today I went and saw Marley and Me. It is an excellent movie. I cried, which is saying something, because I am not like the girls that cry in everything. The only other movies I have ever cried in are Armageddon, Remember the Titans, and 8 seconds. I say this to say that:

1. You should go see it.
2. It made me love Bella even more.
3. The main character in the movie is a columnist. The movie made me want to marry a columnist or write a book. I havn't decided which one, but book seems more likely. Each would be a wonderful addition to my life I think.

2. I would also like to add "Be on time more often" to my list of things to change in 2009.

3. This is going to sound cheesy and corny and lame. That's fine. Make fun, but I'm going to share it anyways.

Today I had this moment when I was riding in the car with the Ward's and Kelsey on the way to the movies. We had on "Yellow" by Coldplay really loud and we were all belting it out at the top of our lungs. It was like something out of a cheesy family film.

While I was sitting there, I realized I was in one of those moments in life that you'll remember for a long time. One of those moments when someone asks you to look back on a time when you were truly happy and you pick out that particular moment.

The best part about this particular moment was that it didn't take a boyfriend.

I have this problem with finding my identity and from that, my happiness, in who I am dating at the time. But in the moment in the car where me and 10 year old Sarah sat together and belted "Yellow" off key I realized that I am completely 100% satisfied with where my life is right now and I don't even have any sort of love interest. Not even so much as a crush.

I've had a boyfriend or a boy I was dating pretty much non stop, since I was in the 9th grade. 8 years ladies and gentlemen. I realized today that I don't even know who I am by myself. I realized today that I want to find out.

I think there is something so beautiful and freeing and sexy (can I say that?) in this. Something that gives me confidence. Its like a weight has been lifted, in that I no longer have to concern myself with someone else's happiness or well being, or what someone else is thinking. It's like I have this whole new thing in my life that's been hiding that needs to be discovered. It makes me excited to wake up and see what tomorrow will bring. I LOVE it.

I'm happy. And its going to take a very special boy, and by boy I mean man, to get me to give up this feeling.

So thanks to the Wards and Kelsey and Coldplay and the song "Yellow" for giving me a little life moment that you didn't even know was happening today.

Enjoying Freedom,
Jenna